The loss of someone you loved, but didn't know
For those who know me, this made me sad, for those who don't and you're reading this, I commend and thank you.
Two and a half weeks ago, an idol and a hero of mine from a band I grew up listening to throughout my teens passed away. I found out when I woke to a message from a good friend of mine saying "I'm sorry for your loss". My initial reaction was full blown panic, had I missed something that happened closer to home? What was going on? I wasn't really sure. I immediately jumped on social media. I still didn't understand what was going on? I saw a post mentioning LP (Linkin Park). My heart sank, I googled "Linkin Park". What I saw before me, well, to say I didn't believe it initially was an understatement.
What I was presented with was news that Chester Bennington, the lead singer for Linkin Park had committed suicide. I was shocked. My heart broke. I didn't know what to think. The feelings of shock and confusion mostly flowed through me. It was weird, I didn't really think about this. A month before this had happened (to the day), Chris Cornell, a good friend of Chester's, had passed away in a similar way. That didn't effect me to nearly the same degree that finding out Chester, a man who I had seen in concert twice, had passed did. That broke me.
Generally, I've never really batted an eye when hearing of a musician passing. I'd feel for those effected, family, friends, etc, but it wouldn't directly effect my ability to function throughout the day. I never overly understood why this got to people, until it was someone who was a massive part my life and a part of the band that I absolutely loved from the first minute I heard Papercut right through till now, listening to Good Goodbye and everything in between. It was like I had lost a member of my family, which is an odd thing to feel being I hadn't spoken a word in person to him.
This is where the name of this article comes into play, I felt like I had lost someone I'd loved. Had I met the man in person? Not specifically. I met him along with 20,000 other people, where he graced the stage with the other members of Linkin Park, but I still felt like I'd lost a family member. I spent the day mostly in tears. It was a hard day.
This man, along with the rest of the Linkin Park members, were a massive part of my life throughout my teenage years and still are to today. They brought me closer to some of my closest friends. All of these experiences, when the news broke to me, were amplified as good times. It feels odd to feel this way about someone who I had never known on a personal level. It confuses me still. I don't think I'll ever fully understand it. What I will understand is that even with the band seemingly unlikely to continue (who knows?!), they will remain the band that means the most to me, not only their music, but the experiences I've been able to have, the memories I've got from seeing them in concert, the people I have met because of them, these will leave an everlasting mark on me.
This is in no way a cry for help, but more of a way to see if I can get the words out around my feelings around this. I've been trying to write this since the day I found out, but never really knew what to say, or how to form the words. This next part is my message to Chester.
----
To Chester,
You will be missed. Thank you so much for the music you've provided us. It's absolutely meant the world to me. It was heartbreaking to find out the news. I hope you have found solace from the demons that plagued you. You've openly talked about them, which has given strength to others with similar demons. It has also brought a lot of power into the music that you've created over the many years since I began listening to Linkin Park. These words haven't come easy.
Rest easy. Thank you again, for everything. Your humour, the music, everything.
----
One last link, it's to One More Light performed by the band, which was dedicated to Chris Cornell, I think it's fitting here to be dedicated to Chester as well.
Please, if someone reaches out to you, don't turn your back. Every little helps.
Hero Image Credit: linkinpark.com